Second Trollo-Gnomish War
The Second Trollo-Gnomish War was a war fought between the newly created Gnomalian Union and the Reunited Troll Empire. The Trolls had just gotten out of a civil war, and the newly crowned King Chase II told the Trolls that he would "Make Trollatia Great Again" and finally conquer the dirty Gnomes. The Dilexicans heard of their plans and warned President Justin, who called an emergency meeting at Castle Gnome. The leaders from the CSJ, Nortmaydia, CHINa, Samsolaria, Maco-Courtnorium, Dilexico, and the Penis Viking Clans agreed to mobilize and defend Gnomalia. On January 14th, the Troll Empire went to war with the Gnomalian Union. The Trolls began the invasion of Nortmaydia, and were easily able to capture the province of Walmoca, and moved on to Dothwaria. The Nortmaydians held them up in the southern mountains. The Trolls were able to conquer northern Dothwaria, but with half of their forces fighting in the mountains they could not commence an effective attack. The Trolls planned on a quick war, as the Gnomalian armies would take a while to mobilize, but they were not expecting the Nortmaydians to be so resilient. They evacuated the northern armies and sent them south to invade Dilexico, which they easily did, opening up a door to the Confederate States of Juicemony. The Juicemons began a campaign to recruit people to fight the war. They had posters rallying the men to grab a sword and fight the filthy Trolls, as well as programs to get both men and women to grab a hammer and build equipment for the soldiers. With their first few armies mobilized, they sent them to New Dilexico to defend their homeland and the will of Halamajama. The first battles in New Dilexico came to a win for the Trolls, and they were able to win not only New Dilexico but Maydian Dilexico as well. The Trolls at last managed to break the lines of the Maydians in the mountains, but now had to face the Maydian Army. At the borders of Dothwaria and Golmtaria, the battle left the Trolls victorious, but at a huge cost. However, with the Bay of Retards now in control of the Trolls, the got to work transporting their boats into the water. The Troll Army were now far into Nortmaydia with winter quickly approaching. With little hope of any more victories, they retreated into Maydian Dilexico. The Dilexicans had little hope of fending off the Trolls, but amazingly were able to defend the capital for at least 80 days. The walls would be blown down, only to be replaced quickly due to the Dilexican's culture of constant, efficient work. This kept part of the Troll Army distracted, allowing for the Juicemons to attack. They recaptured half of New Dilxeico, and began digging into trenches. As winter set in, the Trolls in Nortmaydia began falling, and it gave the Union the oppurtunity to increase their production and recruitment. The winter finally ended, and the fighting began again on January 21st. The Nortmaydians recaptured their land all the way to Dothwaria, but were stopped by the new Troll Armies. The Trolls flooded into Maydian Dilexico before the Maydians could capture it. They rallied outside the borders of Samsolaria and began bringing ships from land into the swamps. They fought through the thick swamps of Samsolaria, but were kept up for three months too long. Ships were beginning to be deployed into the Bay of Retards, which the Trollatians still partly controlled. They spotted the Maydian armies approaching their position on the bay, and called for the ships to be deployed faster. They were deployed just in time before the Maydians captured the bay, and escaped the siege equipment from the Maydian Army. The Trolls finally landed in the dry lands of Samsolaria, and marched on the capital. They came upon the statue of the Prophet Shrek at the entrance of the city, and brought it to the ground. The sight of the statue being destroyed angered the Samsolarians, and they promised to make the Trolls pay. The Troll ships eventually made it to the Gulf of Deltland after many weeks, and began to bombard the capital city of Wowburg. President Justin and all other government officials escaped to Castle Gnome, which the Nortmaydians promised they would defend to the last brick. After 69 full days of attack, the Trolls finally declared victory over Samsolaria, and sent a force to capture King Sam who had escaped with his family. Now with clear access to both Inner Deltland and Wagia, the Trolls rallied the majority of their armies into Samsolaria. In the meantime, the Troll Navy was met in the Gulf of Deltland by the full might of the Imperial CHINese Navy. They began a large scale water war with the Troll Navy, and it took pressure off of Wowburg. The last of the Troll forces arrived in western Samsolaria, and they began a surprise attack. They quickly captured Nawajo, and began a slow advance into Lesord and Womiama. The Troll Navy was ordered to stop fighting with the CHINese and begin a 3-day long bombardment of Wowburg. After the bombardments had ended and both Lesord and Womiama had been conquered, the Troll army quickly moved in and captured Wowburg. With Juicemon morale devastated, the Trolls moved up to capture Castle Gnome. The Nortmaydian defense finally broke and they began yet another retreat, attempting to escape to Golmtaria or even Sarocria if needed. The Troll Army marched to the top of Fortress Mountain, and looked upon the heavily defended Castle Gnome. They began the march across the massive bridge connecting the two mountains, which was soon collapsed when the Trolls were halfway across. Unfortunately, quite a few still got across and fired arrows at the defenders. Once reaching the front yard of the castle, the few remaining Trolls managed to blow up the bridge connecing two of the towers of the castle. Trolls began climbing up the main ladder, which was quickly doused with oil and set a flame. The archers on both sides continued for many days to fire back at each other, but no advance could be made with the bridge taken out. With the next winter fastly approaching, the Trolls ordered that massive ladders and snow gear be sent over so they may attack during the winter. As the defenders retreated into the castle for the winter, the Trolls equipped their snow gear and managed to get the ladders to fill the gap in the bridge. They began to climb across, but were spotted soon after by the Gnomes. The defenders were given as much warmth as was there and sent out to stop the Trolls. They marched through the foot and a half of snow and attacked the Trolls. The Trolls at the mountain fired down on them, but stopped once their own forces got too close to their targets. The Gnomes pushed the Trolls back to the ladders, and three Gnomes were willing enough to run across the top of the ladder and pound down on it until it broke. The battle devolved into arrowfire once again, but once the winter had ended, it became much more intese. The Trolls had called in the 1st Air Infantry squad, which was a squad of twelve with artificial wings that allowed them to glide, along with rockets to get them back in the air if needed. They flew right over the bridge and dropped bombs on Castle Gnome, cracking the cieling but not breaking it. They came back around and dropped another set, which damaged it more. Weeks later, after constant bombing and arrowfire, the Castle was badly damaged, with the roof and towers collapsed. Soon enough, the Trolls brought in their magnum opus: the Warhammer. It was a massive ship with giant wings and rockets, and as it flew over Castle Gnome, gigantic bombs fell upon the castle. Trolls began parachuting down from the deck of the ship right on top of the castle. The ship also had brought a huge metal ladder, which was slowly brought down upon the gap of the bridge, allowing the rest of the Trolls to cross. The Gnomes were able to hold the main gate, stopping the Trolls from entering the main hallways. They began throwing themselves at the gate, but it was no use. The Trolls were prepared though, and the ship sent down a large battering ram for the Trolls to use. Once it reached the ground, they untied it and grabbed it. They ran into the gate and broke many parts of the door. They continued beating against it until both doors finally swung open, allowing them to flood inside. The Gnomes tried to fight them off, but their sheer numbers allowed them to take charge. They destroyed many Gnomish artifacts, burned down the great map of Gnomalia, and planted many explosives before marching up the stairs into the Great Hall. They jumped up on the tables and busted their legs, and made sure to get the dragon egg safely out of the castle. The Trolls then marched out of the castle before detonating the bombs, leaving it as nothing but a fiery fog and pile of rocks. With the Trolls now in control of most of Gnomalia, they planned to finally end the last of the Gnomes with their newly acquired dragon. They brought it before King Chase, who ordered them to raise it into a fully grown dragon. They brought it into the black fields of Trollatia and began dancing around it, chanting "Woogy Koogy Bahama Wamama Al Zarkawee Osama Bin Laden" The egg cracked open, and out came a baby dragon. It started crying like a pussy, so the Trolls tried more of their spells to get it to grow, but nothing worked. They prayed in the direction of Trolecca, but that didn't work. They then resorted to calling upon Trollary herself, who for the first time in one thousand years answered their call and made the dragon fully-grown. The best riders of anything in Trollatia got on the Dragon's back and flew it across Gnomalia. As the Maydians fought desperately against the advancing Trolls, the dragon was able to rain death upon them, becoming virtually unstoppable. Emperor May called upon the last of the Maydians to not surrender, saying he'd rather they kill themselves than surrender to the dirty Trolls. President Justin, who had narrowly escaped Castle Gnome into Cathlos, called upon every last Gnome to rally at Cathlos and Halbos to take one last stand against the Troll menace. So Emperor May evacuated all of his troops into Halbos, meeting with all of Justin's Confederate forces. The CHINese navy surrounded the peninsula, and at last the Maco-Courtnorians showed up with what they had of an army. With the dragon flying toward them, the troops were given bows and arrows as well as potions to try and kill the dragon. At last, it arrived. The Gnomes began firing a hail of arrows at the dragon, which did not seem to do anything. Regardless, they continued to fire. The dragon flew across and killed many, leaving a large line of fire across the battlefield. The massive Troll army began advancing over the mountains, and things looked dower for the Gnomes. Their fire still did not seem to do anything, until the Dragon was hit and delayed it's attack, proving they were hurting it. They continued to fire, even as their forces diminished. The CHINese navy packed explosives into their rocket throwers, sending bombs straight up into the air. 99% of them missed, but a few managed to explode right next to the dragon, hurting it badly. The arrows continued, and at last the dragon descended into the water and exploded. The Troll army attacked what was left of the Gnomes, who tried to fight back, but were again losing to sheer numbers. As morale decreased and the armies were ready to disobey and surrender, bombs began falling upon the Troll armies. The Gnomes looked up, and saw that the Penis Vikings had finally arrived from the far lands. The Gnomes cheered them on, as the Vikings threw ropes down for the troops to take hold of. The Gnomes began climbing aboard the Viking ships and saw the defeat of the Trolls from up above. Though victory seemed near, they soon came into contact with the flying Troll ships as well. The flying navies began a long battle, in which many lives were lost, but with the will to defend their homes, the Vikings defeated them. The Troll armies retreating on the ground were bombarded by the Viking ships, and the Gnomes began parachuting into their lost homes to reclaim them. The Troll armies reassembled in middle Wagia, and attempted to march into Cathlos and Halbos again. They were met by the remaining Gnomish forces in the peninsula, who held them off long enough for the Viking ships to begin more bombings. Gnomish forces dropped into the Troll forces, and forced them to scatter across Gnomalia. The armies spread out thinly across middle and northern Gnomalia, leaving them without their main strength, numbers. Local militias began attacking them when they saw them, allowing Justin, May, and Sam to return to their destroyed thrones. They called for a international guerilla war against the Troll armies, which was very successful. Many died in confrontations with Trolls, but it was enough to open Trollatia to Gnomish attack. Gnomish forces assembled on the Trollatian border and invaded, quickly overtaking the small militia forces in the country. They ruthlessly scorched everything in their path, burning houses, crops, and farms. They reached the capital and stormed the palace, but were not able to stop Chase II from escaping. Gnomish forces were ordered to burn the city to the ground and enslave all who did not escape, and a cavalry division was sent to hunt down Chase II. The cavalry forces soon returned with the emperor tied with chains, and dragged him all the way back to Wowburg with the enslaved Trolls. He was paraded through the streets and brutally beaten by the citizens, before having his head chopped off and stuck on a pike for all to see. The Gnomes began to rebuild, after almost every city and town had been destroyed and tens of millions died on all sides